This ended up being a lot shorter (and taking a lot longer) than I originally intended, but I think I covered all the important things. There are a few blips that weren't there the first time I exported the video, but suddenly appeared after I fixed some errors and exported it again; I just left them because I was afraid fixing and exporting one more time would mess up something else. =/
Also, one thing that I noticed, which I cut from the review because it just didn't seem to work in context: why does everyone on the cover look like a woman?
I suppose it's better than the movie poster the cover art copied, where Val Kilmer looks very angry and Warwick Davis inexplicably looks like a monkey:
But still; kinda weird.